Feeling better than I did this morning though I owe a thanks to beer for lifting my spirits. Went for a 9km bike ride and burned more calories than I have eaten all day. I feel happy about that but babe is about to get home and we are going for food. All for nought.
This is a test. This is an attempt at dumping my brains onto the floor and seeing if seeing the mess will help me sort it out any. Or at all. I have struggled with this thought so many times. Do I say something or do I keep it in for eternity and let it kill me. Let me kill me. The latter sounds tempting. The latter sounds comfortable and kind. I do not know how to go about this. I do not want to hit post. But I spoke to a woman the other day who made me feel like I should. She wanted my money and my secrets. I don’t know if i can give her either.
“We are not mad. We are human. We want to love and someone must forgive us for the paths we take to love, for the paths are many and dark, and we are ardent and cruel in our journey.”